The Hunger Games : Another End
by Sylareen
Summary: At the end of the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss holds the berries. But Seneca reacts quickly enough and shoot Katniss' hand before she and Peeta can eat them. There must be only one victor.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note : **This is my first fanfiction, so please be indulgent. I'm french, so maybe there's some mistakes. If you see a mistake, please tell me so I can improve my english ! I hope you will enjoy !

**The Hunger Games : Another End**

**Seneca :**

Cato was dead, and Claudius Templesmith just announced that the rule crowning victors two tributes if they were from the same district was abolished. "Let's see what you'll do now, girl on fire", Seneca thought with a smile.

This year's Games were… ambiguous. For the audience, they were the best Games in years ! The star-crossed lovers, the new rule about the two victors, two tributes from the poorest district defeating the last career. And now a new change in the rules. Yes, the audience was becoming crazy, betting frantically on the near issue of the Games.

But for the Gamemakers, these Games were as sharp as a razor. They had made some mistakes, and President Snow wasn't pleased at all. He really insisted on the girl's death. A death that never happened yet. She was becoming some sort of a symbol against the Games. Against the Capitol. Seneca's head was threatened. But these Games weren't over yet, and he hadn't said his last word.

Seneca's mouth opened with stupor. What was she doing with those berries ? Was she planning some kind of heroic suicide ? Was she thinking of dying here, with her "star-crossed lover", in a final act of defiance against the Capitol ?

"Wh… What should we do ?" said one of his fellow Gamemakers, panicked. "Seneca ! Should we let her do this ?!"

Seneca tried to think quickly. What should he do ? Let them eat the berries and both die ? Announce them both victors ? Two victors or none at all. He was losing on each hand.

"Seneca, quick ! Crown them both victors, it's better than no victor at all !" almost shouted Plutarch at his right.

"No." finally said Seneca, determined. "No. No ! Shoot at her !" he was yelling now. "Shoot her hand !"

A technician had her in his sight. "What are you waiting for ?! Shoot !" yelled Seneca, hysterical.

The technician was frozen. This stupid boy was too captivated by the show, maybe he even shipped the star-crossed lovers like all these fools out there. He was going to ruin everything !

Eventually, Seneca pushed himself the button.


	2. Chapter 2

**Katniss :**

Her plan was perfect. She finally understood what Peeta said the other night, on the roof, about dying as himself. They were going to die as themselves, ruining their inhuman Games. Or maybe the Gamemakers would back off, and crown them both victors. That was an option, but she knew she shouldn't put too much hope in it. She was ready to die, with Peeta. Dying here, together, it was better than playing the Capitol's game.

She drew the berries from her pocket, slowly, her eyes gleaming while she difficultly held her tears back. For one second, she considered eating them and be the only one dying. Maybe paying her debt to Peeta.

Then, there was a bright flash of light, a sharp sound, and her face was covered in blood. At first, she didn't even feel the pain. She just realized, terrified, that it was her own blood covering her face and also Peeta's face. Then she saw her hand. Or more exactly, she didn't. Her left hand, it wasn't there anymore ! The pain began now. Her arm was on fire. As she began to shout, she could feel her muscles and bones torn, melting where the laser cut her hand. She could see through her teary eyes that her hand wasn't there anymore, but she could still feel it, and it was filled with pain and heat. It was as if her hand was plunged in lava. All the nerves in her arm were stinging, as if a thousand tracker jackers were stinging her.

She was barely aware of Peeta trying to calm her down. How could she calm down when she just lost a hand ! He was trying to keep her arm still to examine her wound, but she couldn't help rolling on the floor in pain.

Suddenly, her pain eased, as if cold water was running on her arm. She lifted her head and saw Peeta applying something on her wound. The burn medicine ! How much would she still owe him before the end ? She tried talking.

"Shhhh… don't move now Katniss" Peeta said. "I know it hurts, but just wait."

"Peeta… the berries…"

"Shhh… Your wound isn't that bad. I mean, except for your missing hand… There isn't even too much blood, since the laser cauterized your arm.

"Peeta, listen…" she pleaded.

"With the surgery in the Capitol, you'll have a brand new hand, don't worry."

"Shut up Peeta !" she shouted weakly. "The berries, they destroyed the berries !"

"I know Katniss…" She didn't realize when he started to cry. "It doesn't matter, you're gonna get out of this arena."

"I'm going nowhere without you..."

"Don't be ridiculous" he said. "They must have a victor. And it will be you."

"Peeta, no…"

"I'm too badly wounded." he said. She almost forgot that he was in far worse shape than her. "You can do it Katniss, you can win ! If it weren't for you, I would be already long dead. You deserve it." Why was he telling her all that. "Think of your family. You have to win, for them. If you don't do it for me, do it for Prim !".

She knew it was the only possible issue. Killing each other, that was the essence of the games. She was a fool to think she could avoid it. But she couldn't accept it. She couldn't just kill Peeta like that ! Not after everything !

Peeta was still telling all the reasons why she should win, sobbing. She knew he was right. Only one of them could leave the arena alive. She thought about home. The Seam, the woods. Gale. Prim. She wanted more than anything to see Prim again. But not at the expense of the baker's son !

An hour had passed, maybe more. Her wound was still hurting, but she could manage it, with the help of the medicine. Peeta's state, however, was deteriorating. She knew he wasn't going to make it. After a while, he had stopped talking. Then he had just laid here, next to her. His breath had become heavier. Katniss thought he fell asleep, but when she checked he was sweating and his teeth were clenched in pain.

"Peeta…" she murmured, her right hand brushing his sweaty hair.

"Please Kat… Katniss…" he said, his voice so weak. "Do it…"

"No… No…" she was crying again.

"Please end… my suffering…" he swallowed hard. "Do it for me."

"Peeta…" she said again, watching his eyes full of sadness.

All her body was shaking with tear as she took off her vest and put it on Peeta's mouth and nose, making sure to hide his eyes too. She didn't want to see him die. Soon his body was shivering, and his arms tried weakly to free his mouth. But Katniss didn't release the pressure. It was too late anyway. His arms fell around his body, and he remained still. Then, she heard the last cannon fire.

"Ladies and gentlemen" said the loud voice of Claudius Templesmith "I am pleased to present the victor of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen ! I give you the tribute of District Twelve !"

As the anthem played, she took back her vest from Peeta's face. His eyes were still opened. She saw sadness in them, but also gratitude.

"Oh Peeta… I'm sorry" she whispered, closing his eyes. Then she gave him one last kiss. "I'm sorry Peeta… I love you…"


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss was just lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, as she did for days. She didn't know how much time had passed since her "victory". There were no window here, the light was still on and she was fed by transfusion, so she had no time reference. It didn't matter anyway. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't think, she didn't want to move, so she just remained on her bed, silent.

At first, the doctors were always around her with pills, ointments, syringes, healing her numerous wounds, with a special attention to her burned calf and her cut hand. Now, they only came occasionally. She was branched on a device than dispensed morphling every hour so they didn't have to come anymore. Only to check if she was alright. But of course she was not.

Once, the doctors came and said they had built her a new hand. A subtle device made of metal, plastic, silicone, and some things she didn't know about. A fully functional hand. She would be able to move her fingers like before, and even feel when she touches something, they said. But she had refused to let them connect it to her arm. She didn't even know why, she just didn't want it. Maybe a part of her was rejecting it because it was Capitol made, and the Capitol killed Peeta. It was stupid though. She knew losing her hand meant she wouldn't be able to hunt anymore.

The doctors said she was still in shock and maybe she would change her mind later. So they left the hand on a table next to her bed. It was quite creepy to see your hand on a table. Maybe they did it on purpose. But she hadn't touch it, so it was still here when Haymitch, Effie and Cinna entered the room.

Katniss slowly turned her head to see them. Surprisingly, Haymitch was sober. Cinna looked sad. But what made Katniss sit up was Effie. Effie Trinket, ordinary always so colorful, was all in black. Black stilettos, black pencil skirt, black blazer over a black shirt, and a little black hat on top of her huge blond wig.

"Hey" Cinna said with a nod.

"Hey…" she replied quietly, sketching a smile for the first time in days. Her mouth wasn't used to it anymore.

"Ohhhh Katniss, I'm so happy to see you !" Effie almost ran to hug her, her eyes red and puffy, her voice even higher than usual. "They wouldn't let us see you for four days ! That is ridiculous ! I was so worried about you. And I'm so sorry for Peeta… But you did the right thing ! Yes, I am sure about that. I mean, they had to have a victor, right ? Oh I'm so glad you are alive, and so proud of you, and so sad at the same time…"

Katniss saw that Effie was really sorry about Peeta, but what could she say ?

"Eff, let her breath…" Haymitch said behind her. Effie turned toward him and fell in his arms, crying on his shoulder. Confused, he patted her wig awkwardly.

Cinna sat on the bed, next to her, and hugged her longly. He even kissed her on the cheek. For a while, he just stared at her, without a word. When Katniss started crying, he gently wiped her tears with his thumb. Then his eyes met the hand on the table.

"It's your new hand ?" he asked.

"Yes" she answered grimacing. "But I don't want it."

He nodded and just said "Ok". Katniss was glad he didn't ask why. Then he fell silent again and just watched her. She was grateful for that, because she didn't want to talk, even to him. His presence was comforting though. The silence was broken only by Effie's sobs, until Haymitch called him.

"Cinna. Could you please take Effie out and find her some handkerchief ? I need to talk to Katniss."

"Sure" he replied. He hugged Katniss once more, and then went to Effie, whose hands where clenched in Haymitch's jacket. "I see you again tomorrow Katniss, for the interview" he added while bringing Effie to the door.

"Effie, wait !" Katniss called just before they went out. Effie turned back, surprised. "I'm happy to see you too" she said with a faint smile. Effie giggled and sobbed even more, and then went out of sight as Cinna pulled her by the hand.

When the door closed, Haymitch looked serious, and she knew he wasn't here to comfort her.

"You know you have big problems, sweetheart…" he began. As she didn't understand, he continued. "If you think they are going to let this unpunished, you are wrong."

"What are you talking about ?" Katniss felt angry at him. Shouldn't he sit next to her, tap her shoulder and tell her she did everything she could and she shouldn't be sad and how he knows about being a victor and losing someone you love ?

"What were you thinking about !? The berries ! You thought they were going to let you do this ? Now you will have to pay the consequences, and believe me, it won't please you."

"What should I have done !" she yelled. Now she was mad. "Should I have killed him heartlessly, like one of the careers ?! I had to try something !"

"Well then, maybe you should have think twice before trying _this_ !"

"But it's only berries, how can it be so serious ?" She didn't understand why he was so troubled about it. After all, _she_ was the one who lost a hand and who had to kill the boy she loved.

"No !" he shouted. Then he sighed and continued more calmly. "No, there weren't berries… They were weapons against the almighty Capitol. It was an act of defiance. An act of rebellion in front of every TV screen in Panem. Don't you understand ?"

Katniss thought she began to understand. She had just wanted to find a way out of it without giving the Gamemakers what they wanted. But of course, the end of the show was broadcast live to every citizen of Panem. The Gamemakers certainly thought she had tried to die as a martyr. Her attempt to suicide must have been seen as a symbol in the Districts. She hadn't even though about it, but Haymitch was right, the Capitol wouldn't let this unpunished.

"They will kill me ?" she asked after a moment of hesitation.

"No… You're still a victor, they can't kill you now." He was pacing up and down. "Most likely, they'll kill someone you love."

"Prim !" she shouted, horrified.

Haymitch shook his head and sighed. "I don't think they'll kill your sister. Everybody in the Capitol is fond of her. You should have seen her at the interview."

"Who then ?" she asked, slightly relieved.

"I don't know. Hey, I'm not one of them ! But what is sure, it's that now you will have to play their game, and to play it tight. Tomorrow, at the interview, you will have to smile and act as someone who is just happy to be alive. We can still make you pass for a stupid high school girl who acted by love. You must make them believe that you never meant any harm to the Capitol."

"You know I'm a bad liar… Peeta…" she hesitated. "Peeta was the one good at it".

"Well, for once in your life, you better be credible." he replied coldly.

He bolted to the door without any goodbye word. But as his hand found the doorknob, he stopped and said softly "You know sweetheart, I'm happy you're alive". He then left without waiting for Katniss' answer.


	4. Chapter 4

That night, Katniss managed to get some hours of sleep, for the first time since the end of the Games. She didn't rest at all, though. She was thrown back in the arena, and everything was strange and twisted, as if she had been stung by tracker jackers again. The trees were melting and the ground was flabby, moving in wave under her feet. She tried to run, but she ran into the Cornucopia and Peeta was here, lying on the ground. The mouth of the Cornucopia moved like a real mouth and it was shouting "Kill him ! Kill him !". She could hear the Gamemakers' laugh as she had to choke him with her stump, crying in distress and calling Haymitch's name. Then, Peeta changed into Prim, and she was killing her ! Peeta was next to her, laughing madly. Prim's body was cold and hard, and her throat was cut, spreading blood everywhere. Then she turned into Haymitch, saying "I told you !" and laughing with Peeta. Somewhere a cannon fired. Katniss woke up with a start, covered in sweat, shouting.

The room was still empty, the light still on. Katniss was gasping in panic, trying to catch her breath. She killed Peeta again ! Why did she have to relive this ? And Prim was dead too, by her fault ! She killed her, just like Peeta ! And Haymitch, laughing at her distress, how she wanted to kill _him_ right now ! She looked around her and saw the hand on the table. She sighed. It was only a dream… Her first nightmare, and she was absolutely sure it wasn't going to be her last.

She stayed there for a long time, hours maybe, lying still, thinking of her dream and of Peeta. Eventually, she got up, for the first time in five days. What good was it to stay in bed anyway ? In a few hours she would be back in the training center, trying her dress for the interview. She ripped off the cables providing the morphling from her arm and walked through the room. It was a strange feeling, walking after such a long time lying. But the habit came back quickly. Feeling the coldness of the ground under her bare feet made her cringe, but it was good after the warmness of her bed and the morphling running through her veins.

"Oh, you're awake, that's good," Effie said as she just entered the room, followed by Haymitch. She was still wearing black clothes, but she seemed to have regained her usual energy. "We have a big big schedule."

"Hey Effie." Katniss was glad they came, so she could stop thinking about her nightmare. Effie hugged her.

"How are you sweetie ?" she asked, looking concerned. Well, Effie was still as naive as usual. Haymitch would have never asked her that. Katniss didn't answer and just sighed.

"I brought you some clothes, sweetheart." Haymitch said, breaking the awkward silence. He gave her a pair of jeans and a simple green t-shirt. "Eff wanted to bring you some awful Capitol clothes, but I thought you'd prefer this."

"Thanks", she said. "So, what's the schedule for today ?" She tried to look interested, so at least they would stop watching her with their eyes full of pity. "What time is it, anyway ?" she added.

"Already 11 am" Haymitch replied.

"Haymitch insisted that we let you sleep this morning." Effie sighed in disapproval. "That is why we have to hurry ! You will spend the afternoon with Cinna, and tonight you will be crowned ! Then we'll all go to the Victory Banquet in your honour, at President Snow's mansion."

"Oh yes… the banquet…" Katniss had absolutely no will to party, but she knew she would have to play the game. But what frightened her the most was to meet President Snow. How could she stand before the man who had thrown her into a bloodbath ? The man who had killed Peeta... How could she stand before the man who would watch her every move, waiting for the occasion to execute everyone she loved ?

"Quick quick, put on your clothes !" Effie said. While Katniss obeyed, having difficulties dressing up with only one hand, Effie found the hand on the table. "You still don't want to wear it, do you ?" Her voice was perplexed.

"Eff…" Haymitch groaned.

"Yes, yes, I know…" Apparently, the two of them had had a talk about it in her back. "I guess it will take some time to get use to see… to see your arm… like _this_." She seemed quite shocked. But Katniss didn't expected Effie to understand. She didn't even understand herself.

When they went back to their floor in the training center, her prep team was awaiting her. They seemed really happy to see her, talking about how they had always known she would win and how sad they had been when Peeta died. Then they started chit-chatting mindlessly about how they had reacted at some moments of the Games. Katniss tried not to listen at them, because it made her realize that the weeks of hell, hunger, pain, murders that she had been through was in fact just a game for the healthy, wealthy Capitol citizens. But despite that, she couldn't hate them. They were so stupid, so foolish. She would not say that they were also victims of the Capitol, like her and the other tributes, but they had been raised since their birth to believe all of this was normal. That was the same reason why she couldn't hate Effie.

A huge meal had been dressed, and she hadn't realized how hungry she was until then. However, she wasn't allowed to eat too much, because all this rich food wasn't good after the weeks of hunger she had spent. For the first time, she noticed how handicapping it was to have only one hand. She was struggling with her meat, trying to use her knife and her fork alternatively. When she became aware of the eyes on her, she decided to give up and just stabbed the meat with her fork, tearing pieces of it with her teeth. Effie rolled her eyes and sighed, but a look from Haymitch prevented her from saying anything.

After the meal, she had to take a shower before the prep team could begin their work. She was glad to be able to escape everyone for a moment. She needed some time alone, to try to empty her mind. But as soon as she was alone, images from the arena came back so she hurried to go out. The prep team applied makeup to every inch of her face, painted her nails and did her hair in a loose style. That surprised her, because she thought of her braid as a kind of trademark. When they were done, Cinna entered the room and Katniss found herself running to hug him. He was the first person she was really happy to see today.

Cinna presented her the dress she would wear at the ceremony, a beautiful asymmetric black and yellow dress, sleeveless on the right side, and with a very long sleeve on the left.

"I found it best to stick with the fire theme, so the yellow is for a candle flame", he began. "And the black is for…"

"Peeta…" Katniss finished. Cinna nodded. "And I guess the long sleeve is for my missing hand ?" she asked.

"Yes. I thought it would be better to hide it, even if I respect your choice. You know, people here are quite picky about look."

Had he stayed up all night to come up with this asymmetric dress, or had he known since the end of the Games that she would refuse to have a fake hand ? Cinna kept surprising her. He was so different from the other people in the Capitol. The dress was simply gorgeous. Wearing it, Katniss looked so young, so vulnerable, but also broken, mourning. That was actually a good thing, since she had to convince President Snow that she was a dumb girl in love, whose acts were only motivated by her fear of losing Peeta.

After a quick and light dinner, they all left for the ceremony. Effie opted for a pink and black outfit, willing to show that even if she was proud to finally have a victor, she was still grieving Peeta. Haymitch was wearing a handsome black suit. Even if he was still sober, it was strange to see him in such clothes. Katniss waited anxiously in a room under the stage, pacing up and down. She could hear Caesar Flickerman's voice presenting all her team, as he did every year for every victor. She could hear the roar of the crowd above her as her prep team, Effie, Cinna and then Haymitch entered on the stage.

She placed herself on the elevator and remembered that the way she would react would certainly mean life or death for the people she loved. What would Peeta do in her place ? She didn't have time to think about it too long though, because she could already hear Caesar's voice above her, amplified a thousand times, announcing "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the victor of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games, the Girl on Fire, Katniss Everdeen !"


	5. Chapter 5

There was the loudest burst of applause while she appeared on the stage, and Caesar welcomed her warmly. She tried to smile at the audience, waving awkwardly with her right hand. People were shouting her name.

"Katniss, Katniss, it's so good to see you here !" Caesar said with enthusiasm, taking her good hand and leading her toward the victor's chair.

"Thanks Caesar, it's good to be among you tonight." she replied with a wave to the audience, trying to think like Peeta. Another round of applause. She glanced at Haymitch and she knew it was good because he nodded discreetly.

The show lasted three hours. She had to watch a recap of the highlights of this year's Games. As it began, she knew she wasn't prepared for this. She would have to relive all her time in the arena, all her pain, all her loss. Worst of all, she would have to face this alone. How she wished Peeta was there, steadying her like he did on the chariot, a lifetime ago.

At first, she tried to watch the screen with interest, laughing with Caesar when the highlight was supposed to be "funny". But as it continued, they began to show images of Rue. Rue giggling, Rue alive, reminding her so badly of Prim. They showed how they had teamed up, how they had figured out a plan to destroy the career's supplies. How she had been killed. There was a round of applause when Katniss shot an arrow at the boy from District One. Of course, they showed Rue's death, and Katniss was crying again. She tried to hold her tears back, but she saw herself on-screen singing Rue to sleep, and silence fell in the audience, as if everyone was grieving. Katniss' mouth opened in stupor when they showed how she had buried Rue in flowers, and raised her three fingers to the sky. She had thought they would have censored that part. It felt wrong. Why would they want to broadcast it ? Wasn't it an act of rebellion ?

Eventually, they showed a lot of Peeta and her. When she had called Peeta's name, just after the change in the rules. When she had taken care of him in the cave, gently making him drink his broth. When _he_ had taken care of her after the feast. A lot of kissing. Katniss' eyes were stuck to the screen. She tried to hold on to every image of Peeta, not wanting him to disappear. She cried all along, wanting him to be here, wanting to be in his arms again, resting her head against his warm chest, feeling his hand brushing her head as she goes to sleep. Then, they showed the final battle against Cato on the Cornucopia. She heard again Claudius Templesmith announcing that there must be only one victor, and then she was drawing the berries. She startled when the laser shot her left hand, making it explode into pulp and blood. Finally, she was killing Peeta again, and Claudius proclaimed her victor. The last image was her giving Peeta one last kiss and saying "I love you". She hadn't realized when she started, but she found herself singing the lullaby she once sang to Rue. How she wished she had time to sing it to him, to tell him everything would be better when he awakes. She was vaguely aware that the audience had fallen silent again, and a part of her was ashamed of singing in public. But she didn't stop, trying to hold on to Peeta's face, before he was completely gone.

When she finished, Caesar was so moved he needed a handkerchief. "Katniss," he said, trying to recover, "I think I speak for every citizen of Panem. We give you our sincere condolences."

On the front row, Haymitch looked puzzled. But somehow, she knew it was a good thing to do. Now she understood what game the President was playing. Why he hadn't censored the scene with the flowers. Why he had shown every moment of Peeat's death, even the "I love you" part. The message was crystal clear. He wanted to show everyone that love was pointless, futile in the arena. You could be the most savage career or the most sensitive like Rue, in the end you would still lose everything. The Capitol was the only victor in the Hunger Games.

The anthem played, and she rose as President Snow walked on the stage, followed by a little girl carrying the crown. He smiled and officially congratulated the victor of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games, and placed the crown on Katniss' head. She looked his eyes and saw triumph in it, and she knew she was right.

He had won.


	6. Chapter 6

Katniss didn't have time to measure all the implications of the look in President Snow's eyes, because she knew her face was on every screen in Panem. She would have plenty of time to think about it later, so for the moment she just smiled and tried to look proud to be crowned.

After she left the stage, Effie hurried to join her, soon followed by Haymitch and Cinna.

"Ohhh sweetie, you were absolutely perfect !" she said with emotion. It was obvious she had cried.

"Was I ?" Katniss asked anxiously, looking at Haymitch.

He replied with a nod, and Katniss sighed in relief. Haymitch still looked confused, but he must have had seen the look in the President's eyes. Or maybe he had guessed it. Katniss felt she could trust him with that.

"You were mesmerizing", Cinna said. "Everyone loves you."

At least in the Capitol, she thought. In the Districts, people must hate her. She didn't say it aloud, though.

At the Victory Banquet, she had to smile and try to look as radiant as possible with her crown. Everyone wanted to take a picture with the victor. Sometimes, Effie would make her a discreet sign so she knew she was talking to one of her sponsors. She thanked them wholeheartedly for their generosity. She didn't have to lie about it, because she knew they did their best to help Peeta and her, sending food or medicine when they needed it. They were not the ones to blame for the Games.

As the party went on, she had to dance with a lot of people. She wasn't really good at it thought, so every time she could, she escaped in direction of the buffet. She didn't felt like eating, but it was better than dancing. She grabbed some viennoiseries and looked around her. Haymitch and Effie were dancing together. When did the two of them become so close ? They were certainly only doing their duty. Katniss had nearly forgotten that they must be on screen almost as much as her. After all, it was the first time for both of them that they had a victor.

"Katniss Everdeen, I assume ?" said a voice in her back. She startled and turned around to find a handsome young man, with soft bronze hair and incredible green eyes. She recognized him instantly.

"Finnick Odair", she said. One of the previous victors. Everybody knew him since he was now a mentor for District Four.

"Oh, I see you already know me", he replied without a hint of surprise. "Be careful with the pastries," he added with a grin, "no one wants a fat victor."

Katniss didn't know what to say. She didn't care that no one wanted her. It's not like she were planning to sell her body like he did.

"So, Girl on Fire, want to dance ?" he offered her his hand. Of course she didn't want. But she had to play the game. She gave him her right hand, laying her stump on his shoulder as he placed his left hand on her hip, way too low for her taste. She frowned, but didn't argue. They started twisting around at the sound of the music.

"I'm sorry for Peeta, truly" he said. "But that's the game, right ?"

"I think so…" She couldn't decide if she liked Finnick or not. "And I'm sorry for your tributes. This girl, you were her mentor, weren't you ?" It was the first time since the end of the Games that she thought about the girl from District Four, killed by the tracker jackers at the same time as Glimmer.

"Yea… I guess the odds weren't in her favour." He didn't look sad at all. How could he manage it ? How could he watch the kid he was supposed to bring home die ? Katniss now understood why Haymitch had become such a waste.

"See that guy over there ?" he said, pointing someone with his head. "He didn't stop to look at you since the beginning. I wonder why…" his voice was enigmatic.

Katniss glanced discreetly at who he was pointing. A middle aged man whose beard was cut in an intricate design. She vaguely remembered seeing him at the private training session.

"A Gamemaker ?" she asked.

"The Head Gamemaker," he corrected. "Seneca Crane. I think he's gonna have a pay raise this year."

"Yes, that's probable…" So Seneca Crane was the one who had shot her hand... By doing this, he had prevented an act that could have led to an uprising. He had saved the Games, and his head too.

"Too bad you lost a hand." Finnick said. "You could have had everything you wanted here in the Capitol."

"I don't want to become like you", Katniss replied coldly. Finnick laughed lightly and leant toward her ear, where the camera couldn't see his lips.

"You think I do this for pleasure ?" he whispered, his voice suddenly serious. Katniss felt ashamed. She hadn't even thought that he may just be playing the Capitol's game, just like her. Trying to protect the people he loved. "Here's an advice" he continued. "Make them love you. Make them want you." Katniss laugh as if he just said something funny, just in case a camera was filming her.

"Anyway Katniss" he said, releasing her. "It was nice to meet you. I hope we meet again next year." He winked at her and left.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note : Thanks to my first followers. The few reviews you posted touched me ^^. I hope you'll enjoy the next chapters !**

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The day after the Banquet would be her last in the Capitol. Katniss tried to sleep. She needed energy for the interview. But as soon as she was alone in her room, she burst into tear, releasing the pressure of the day. For hours, she alternated between thinking of home and Prim, of the arena and Peeta, crying, worrying about the look in the President's eyes and crying again. Since she left the arena she had only slept a few hours, so eventually her body was so exhausted that she fell asleep.

This time, she saw President Snow in her nightmare. Her home, back in District Twelve, was burning, and he was in the middle of the ruins. At his feet lied the bodies of her mother and Prim, and even Buttercup and Lady, Prim's goat. President Snow laughed ecstatically as he was destroying her life, and he had the very same look of triumph in his eyes than at the ceremony.

She was awakened by Effie knocking on the door, announcing another big day. She got up at once, not wanting to stay alone. Haymitch was already there, eating porridge. Katniss was really becoming to wonder if Haymitch had definitively abandoned alcohol. Effie was talking about the schedule of the day and how this last interview was important. Katniss tried to eat a little, but nothing wanted to go down her throat. She still had problems with her missing hand anyway, and that made her angry.

"You must eat Katniss," Effie said with concern. "Look at you, you're so pale !"

"Sure, I don't want to look pale as death for the interview, do I ?" she replied coldly with a black look. Effie seemed really hurt by her answer.

"I'm not worried about the interview Katniss, I am worried about _you_ !" Katniss' cheeks blushed with shame.

"What's the matter with you, girl ?" Haymitch said sharply. "Eff's part of the team. You better not forget that." Effie looked quite surprized that Haymitch had taken her defence and smiled at him thankfully.

"I know…" she looked at the floor. "I'm sorry Effie." To show her goodwill, she ate a chocolate roll. What was wrong with her ? Effie was surely naive and unwise, but she had always tried to do her best and had always been kind to her.

"It doesn't matter…" she said quietly. "You know Katniss, I know what you are going through. You may think of me as a heartless woman, but that is not true."

What did she mean ? Was she only playing the game too ? No, that couldn't be that. Everyone knew she loved her job and wanted to be promoted to a better district. She was certainly only talking about Peeta's death. Katniss wanted to ask for an explanation, but she knew it was impossible. Even here in their floor, there might be some microphones. She didn't want to put Effie in danger.

Katniss spent the rest of the day with the prep team and Cinna, preparing for the interview. This time, she would wear an ash and gold dress. Once again, the dress had a long sleeve on the left. Maybe that would become her trademark. It's not like she had any choice anyway. When she was all dressed, Cinna attached the mockingjay pin to her breast. She had nearly forgotten about it, and she suddenly realized that she hadn't worn it at the ceremony.

"My pin ! Why you didn't give it to me yesterday ?" she asked.

"I thought President Snow wouldn't like it." Cinna answered, without explanation. But it made sense. The mockingjay was a symbol of failure for the Capitol. Associated with what she had tried to do with the berries, it could become a symbol of rebellion.

"So why give it to me now ?"

"Haymitch said it doesn't matter anymore."

What did he mean, it didn't matter anymore ? She would have to question Haymitch about it, later.

The interview would be filmed in studio, so there would be no live audience. At least she wouldn't have to worry about it. But she knew this interview was crucial. The Games weren't over yet.

Caesar Flickerman led her to the same golden chair than at the ceremony. He asked her how she was and tried to help her relax before the beginning. Soon, the anthem played and they were on screen.

Caesar asked her a lot of questions about the events of the Games. She tried to keep smiling as she answered, doing her best not to say anything that could result in harm for her family. But that was hard, and she could feel the tears coming when Caesar started talking about Rue and Peeta. Eventually, the passage with the berries was discussed.

"When you drew the berries from your pocket, I think everyone in Panem held their breath." Caesar's voice became serious. "We had all seen what those berries had done to the girl you called Foxface. What were you thinking at this moment ?"

"At this moment", she hesitated. "I couldn't think of anything. I was just terrified to lose Peeta." She had difficulties holding her tears back. "I… I just wanted to stay with him. To go with him…"

"I understand…" Caesar interrupted, giving her time to recover. "I would have certainly done the same." A lie, of course. But maybe that could help her. Maybe it was not an act of defiance, if someone else would have done it too. "And then, the laser shot your hand."

"There must be only one victor", she said with conviction, hoping President Snow heard that.

"Ahah, yes, and that victor was you. Let's talk about your hand then. I know the doctors made you a new hand. Why do you refuse to wear it ? Tell us, we'd like to understand."

"I don't really know… I think my hand is gone with Peeta. The last thing he did before… the end, was healing my hand. It reminds me of him, and of the purpose of the Games. It reminds me that even if I have lost a part of me, I'm still alive and I'm a victor." Katniss didn't even know why she said this. She hadn't had any idea, it just came out. But there might have been some truth in it. Not that she was happy to be a victor. But it was true that it reminded her of what she had lost. Peeta, her hand, her freedom.

"I won't argue then…" Caesar said after a moment of silence. "You know, until the very end we weren't sure if you would win or not. That was quite a shock for me when you killed Peeta. But he would have died anyway. I think you did him a favour to end his pain." His hand reached hers and he gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"I don't know…" she said, her voice melancholic. "I still can't believe his gone."

"He was a good lad." Caesar looked at her with solicitude. "When the last cannon fired and you said you loved him, I swear my heart was broken."

"So was mine…" Now Katniss could feel the tears running down her cheeks. How she wanted to yell at Caesar. To say that they were all guilty, that _they_ murdered Peeta. But she thought about what he would do in such a situation. He would endure, act as if it was nothing. He would play with the audience, as ever. Katniss wasn't as talented as him, so she just held the words back in her throat and played the game.

"Yesterday when you sang for Peeta… Whoa, you were unbelievable, Katniss. I don't know if you realized, but the audience had fallen silent. I think a million words could not describe better how deep your love for him was."

"Well, yea…" she blushed, wiping her tears with her good hand. "That was a lullaby I sing sometimes to my sister, Prim. I sang it to Rue, and I wished I had time to sing it to him."

"I'd like to believe that he heard you, from where he is now." Caesar was really looking sad. That was not good. For the Capitol, the Hunger Games were supposed to be fun, not sad. If people started to have feeling toward the dead tributes, President Snow would surely hold her responsible. What would Peeta do ? He would tell a joke, for sure.

"Haha, I hope he didn't ! I wouldn't want to trouble his rest with my awful voice." Ok, maybe that was dull, but at least Caesar's smile came back on his face and he was laughing with her.

"Your voice is not awful at all !" he finally said. "You know, that could be your talent as a victor."

"Don't be ridiculous…" Even if she wasn't so frighten to sing in public, she wouldn't do it for the Capitol in a million years. The lullaby had come out without even thinking of it, or else she wouldn't have sung at all.

"I'm not ! I really mean it. Anyway, today was your last in the Capitol. I guess you'll be happy to be back home."

"Yes, I can't wait to see my _family_ and my _friends_." She insisted on these words, hoping it would bring the audience's interest on them, so the President couldn't have them killed. "I'll miss the lamb stew, though." She added with a faint smile.

"I'll send some to you whenever you want." Caesar said with a light laugh. "Oh, I see we're already out of time ! Well, time goes by so fast with a lovely girl as you." That, of course, was another lie. Katniss had been almost as cheerful as a dead cow throughout the interview. But Caesar always tried to bring out the positive in his interviews. Katniss was grateful for that. "This is a good-bye, Katniss Everdeen, but we will meet again soon, for the Victory Tour !"

The anthem played again, Caesar thanked her, and it was over. Haymitch and Effie were waiting for her next to the stage. Effie was babbling between two sobs about how perfect Katniss had been again, how sad she was for Peeta and how shocked she was that she wouldn't use her new hand. Haymitch was silent, so Katniss looked at him interrogatively.

"You were good enough, sweetheart." he said. "Or at least, I hope…"


	8. Chapter 8

Katniss thought she would be relieved to finally leave the Capitol. But she felt like she had knots in her stomach, like it was an end. Whatever would happen next, Peeta wouldn't be here, and she was afraid of being alone. Of course, Prim and her mother would be there. She wouldn't be alone at home, but they couldn't understand what she had been through.

Who would help her with her nightmares ? Haymitch ? The idea could be funny if it wasn't so truthful. As a victor, she wouldn't have to go to school anymore. She wouldn't have to hunt anymore. She wouldn't _be able_ to hunt anymore, with her missing hand. Who would help her not feeling desperate when she would have nothing to keep her mind busy ? Definitely not Gale. He would work in the mine every day and hunt on Sunday. He had a family to feed, he wouldn't have time to waste with her. Anyway, he was probably hating her now, with all the "star-crossed lovers" stuff.

And the baker, what would she tell him ? What would she tell Peeta's family ? How could she stand before them, after what she had done ? How could she endure their reproachful eyes on her after she had murdered their son ? Peeta had saved her life when they were younger, by giving her the burned bread. Since then, her debt had never stopped increasing. And how had she thanked him ? She had killed him, like she had killed Cato and this boy from District One. How could the baker's family forgive her after _that_ ?

But maybe they were already all dead ? The baker and his wife, and Peeta's brothers, dead. Gale, dead. Her mother, dead. Prim, dead. All dead. Maybe that was what Haymitch meant when he had allowed Cinna to give the pin back to her, saying it didn't matter anymore ? President Snow had already won, Katniss had read it in his eyes. But maybe he thought it was better to give her a reminder ?

Katniss wanted this train ride to last forever. She was too terrified to see what waited for her in District Twelve. She had a shower, thinking the hot water would relax her a little, but she was wrong. She couldn't stay in her room where she was so lonely. In the silence, images from the arena wouldn't stop to flash in her mind. And when she was in the living room, it wasn't better. Even if there were only Effie sitting at the mahogany table, working on the next schedule, and Haymitch resting on the sofa, Katniss felt oppressed, as if in the middle of a crowd.

So when the train stopped to refuel, she was glad to go out, to feel the wind on her face, in her hair. She didn't know where they were because there was nothing for miles in each direction. She sat down in the dust, watching the few clouds passing in a clear blue sky.

"Wanted to breathe some fresh air, sweetheart ?"

"Hey Haymitch." Katniss said while he sat down next to her.

"What are you doing here ?"

"Nothing much… Trying to escape the images in my mind…" Her good hand was tracing patterns in the dust. "Can I ask you something ?"

"Do I have a choice ?" he answered with a sigh.

"No. How do you cope with… the nightmares ?" Haymitch chuckled with a rictus.

"Why, obviously I don't ! Don't you forget ? I've been drunk the last twenty-four years !" The two of them shared a laugh.

"Yea… But these days, I noticed you weren't drunk. So, no nightmares anymore ?"

"Oh no, they're still there, every night." he sighed. "But maybe finally bringing someone home has a good influence on me…"

Wow, what was happening ? Haymitch was talking about himself ? As if he trusted her, as if they were… friends ? Sober Haymitch was weird.

"So, you still see the arena ? Every night ?"

"Hum… No, not every night. Sometimes I also see the faces of the kids I brought to death… Their eyes full of despair as they know they're doomed… You'll see, in a few years. That's what awaits you."

Ok, that was becoming creepy. But at least, now she was sure that Haymitch was like her. Maybe they would really become friends, after all. Maybe he was the only one she could trust.

"Can I ask you something ?" Katniss said after a moment.

"Again ?" he replied, falsely irritated.

"Yesterday, for the interview," she began, ignoring his comment. "Cinna gave me my mockingjay pin. He told that you said it didn't matter anymore. What did you mean ?" Haymitch ran his hand through his hair, not looking at her.

"Well, you saw that look in the President's eyes. He has won. You're not a threat for him anymore. Whatever he has decided, a pin won't change that now."

"Are they… Are they all… dead already ?" She was already regretting her question, knowing the answer wasn't going to reassure her. Haymitch sighed and put an arm around her shoulders. Katniss startled. She wasn't used to being touched, except for her family and Peeta. But Haymitch's arm was surprisingly comforting, protective. More and more strange.

"We'll see soon enough, sweetheart…" he answered in a hush voice. "I won't lie to you. I won't tell you everything is fine. Maybe everything's fine. But yea, maybe they're all dead…"

They stayed here for a while, both seated in the dust, Haymitch's arm around Katniss. Finally, Haymitch got up and put his hands in his pockets.

"C'mon, girl. The train will soon leave."

"Wait !" Katniss called. "I was wondering, maybe you know, what did Effie mean yesterday ? When she said she wasn't heartless ?" Haymitch looked at the train before answering and kicked a stone.

"You know, Eff's not as stupid as you think…" He finally said, looking at the sky. "She's just like me. Every year, she watches two kids die, and there's nothing she can do about it. At least, I can drink to make it easier. Eff… has to keep smiling. You should respect her for that."

Then he bolted to the train without looking at her, as if he had just said something awkward. Katniss followed him as she heard the train horn announcing the imminent departure. She was quite troubled. This talk with Haymitch hadn't explained much. But she had realized how lonely and sad he was. And Effie… Katniss didn't know that Effie had that in her. She had always thought this exuberant woman was enjoying herself. But maybe she was only playing the game too, after all. Maybe she really was part of the team.


	9. Chapter 9

When Katniss arrived in District Twelve, Prim and her mother were waiting for her at the train station. Katniss threw herself in their arms. She was so relieved to see them alive that she burst into tears. She had cried more in the last few days than in her whole life. They were alive ! All the fears she had accumulated vanished at this very moment. They were alive and unharmed. For the first time since the end of the Games, she was happy to come home.

After a moment that seemed too short, Effie tapped her shoulder, reminding her that she was on screen. They went to the Justice Building, her right hand holding Prim's and her left arm around her mother's. She didn't want to release them, but she had to go alone on the porch to meet the crowd.

Everyone was in the square, waiting for her. Everyone was shouting her name, greeting her, congratulating her. For the first time in twenty-four years, District Twelve was happy to see a victor.

Katniss smiled in front of the cameras, waving at the crowd with her good hand. The mayor, Madge's father, shook hands with her and gave the speech planned by the protocol for welcoming a victor. A speech that hadn't been heard in such a long time. His tone was formal, but his eyes were bright with emotion.

After the speech, tables were dressed in the square with plenty of food on them. The Capitol was holding the party, so everyone would have enough to eat this night. More than enough. Katniss thought it was the first time so much food was gathered in District Twelve.

Since the banquet was filmed, she had to keep smiling and to thank the people who congratulated her. Some people she had never seen, but also some familiar faces. Greasy Sea, people from the Hob and the Seam, neighbours, and even Darius, the young Peacekeeper. But Katniss' mind was not at the celebration. Her eyes were scanning the crowd, searching for a sign of Gale. She had thought he would be waiting for her at the train station. Had something bad happened to him ? Finally, Hazelle, Gale's mother, came to congratulate her with all her children. Except Gale.

"Where's Gale ?" Katniss asked, anxious.

"Your _cousin_ doesn't feel well, he stayed at home." Hazelle answered. Cousin ? What was that meaning ? But at least, nothing had happened to him. He was probably out in the woods, but Hazelle wouldn't risk saying it aloud, in front of the cameras. Was Gale avoiding her ? She must be right, Gale was hating her now.

Peeta's family was absent too. At first, Katniss felt relieved about this. She didn't want to face them. Not now. Not here, where everybody was happy. But she knew she would have to see them sooner or later, to explain what she did.

But this night, Katniss put her fears aside. Everyone was alive, and it was a time for happiness. She would have plenty of time to grieve and worry afterwards. She tried to forget about Peeta and all the horrors she had seen, just for this one night. She knew she wouldn't have other occasions to rejoice before a long time. So she ate with appetite and talked to everyone and danced with Prim at the sound of the fiddles and flutes. Once, Haymitch came next to her.

"Enjoying your party, sweetheart ?" he asked, troubled, his hands in the pockets of his tux. How had Cinna convinced him to wear a tux ? Haymitch seemed anxious about the crowd around them and impatient to return to his dirty, smelly house.

"Yes !" Katniss answered with a grin. "You should celebrate too, Haymitch. After all, this party is also for you !" For the first time of his life, people loved him, the mentor who had kept her alive. Who had finally brought someone home.

"Yea… maybe…" His face lightened a little. He took a glass of wine, but hesitated. Visibly a mental battle was occurring under his messy hair. Then he put the glass back on the table, untouched.

What happened next was really unexpected. Haymitch walked straight to Effie, who was talking to the mayor. He grabbed her by the arm, leaned over and kissed her, passionately. Effie looked as surprized as Katniss.

"Haymitch ! What are you doing ? Are you drunk again ?" she asked in her ridiculous Capitol accent, her wig crooked. Katniss could see that despite the angry tone of her voice, her eyes were shining.

"Yea… I might be…" he said, releasing her. He took the nearest glass of alcohol and drank it in one sip. "Sorry. I had to do this." Then he turned back and started walking away.

"Wait !" Effie called. She caught his sleeve, making him turned again, an irritated expression on his face. But she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again. The crowd laughed cheerfully. Katniss' mouth opened in stupor, but then she was laughing too.

Katniss was wondering if Haymitch secretly had a crush on Effie since forever and was waiting for the right time to take the first step. Before the Games, when Katniss was thinking of Haymitch as a bitter alcoholic and of Effie as a stupid Capitol hen, the idea would have seemed ridiculous. But not now.

This was a night for celebrations.

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**Author's note : I wanted to write something more festive, because you know, I wrote this on Christmas day ^^. Plus, I wanted to put some Hayffie in it. Hope you don't mind !**


	10. Chapter 10

After the party, life had returned to normal for people in District Twelve. But not for Katniss. She had moved in her new house in the Victor's Village with her mother and Prim. The first weeks, she was anxiously waiting for the Peacekeepers to come, to drag Prim and her mother outside the house by the hair and to kill them right in front of her, a bullet in the head. But nobody had come. President Snow was probably keeping them alive to prevent Katniss from rebelling. And it was working.

Katniss' new house was so vast she would sometimes get lost in it. Her bedroom was as big as her old house, but she hated it. She felt too lonely inside those white bare walls, alone to face her fears. Every night, she would go to bed in her room, but then the nightmares would strike. So she would silently go in her mother's bed and slip herself into her arms. After the Games, her mother had risen in her esteem. Katniss felt like she finally understood why her mother had gone so numb after her father's death, even though she didn't forgive. She wouldn't go in Prim's room, because she wouldn't let her see how frightened she was. Moreover, she needed an adult presence. Protective arms and warmth. Something only her mother could provide.

After two weeks, the television crews had finally gone back in the Capitol, and Effie and Cinna with them. They promised to call her soon. After Effie's departure, Haymitch became sullen again. He would sometimes appear drunk, but not as often as before, though. Maybe having a victor really had a good influence on him. He even started to raise geese ! Sometimes he would be totally wasted, staying in his house for days. But every so often, he would be sober, freshly shaven, and would visit Katniss. He was always very amiable with her mother, and had helped Prim to build a house for Lady in the garden.

For Katniss, things didn't go so well. She had nothing to do, so most of the time she would just lay in the sofa, lost in her thoughts. From time to time, her missing hand would hurt her. She could feel the burn, the flesh melting where the laser hit her, and there was nothing she could do about it. She had thought about stealing some of Haymitch's alcohol, but her mother had made her a syrup that eased the pain, which was better. Or worse, she couldn't say. At least, alcohol would have also made her forget about the arena, about Peeta.

She had never gone to see the baker. She couldn't think of what to tell him, how to explain what she had done. She couldn't find the courage to face his sad and mourning eyes. So she just tried to avoid the part of town where the bakery was. That wasn't hard anyway, since she didn't go out unless Prim begged and dragged her out of the house.

Gale never came to see her. Her only visitors were Haymitch and Madge. Some days after Katniss' return, Madge had come to visit her.

"Katniss, your friend is there", her mother said. Katniss was sprawled on the couch, but she straightened up at these words.

"Gale ?" she asked, a mix of hope and apprehension in her voice.

"No, it's just me, sorry." Madge said, appearing in the living room. Katniss felt relieved.

"Madge ! What are you doing here ?"

"Well… I just wanted to see how you were doing." Madge was shy and awkward. Then, Katniss remembered that Madge was the closest thing to a friend she had, apart from Gale. Madge and her had never been really close, but since the two of them didn't have a lot of friends, they were often pairing together.

From this day, Madge and her had spent a lot of time together. Katniss was glad to finally have someone to speak with, other than Haymitch. Of course, she couldn't tell Madge about her nightmares and her fears, but talking about this and that was good. She could listen to Madge playing the piano for hours. Music prevented her from thinking, and that was priceless.

Once, she had brought Madge in the woods. It was the first time she had gone back in the woods since this morning before the reaping. She didn't have to hunt anymore, and with her missing hand anyway, what was the point ? But Madge was thrilled to go. For her, the mayor's daughter, it must be a great and risky adventure. They had taken a bag of provisions, sneaked under the fence, and picnicked in a clearing. Then, Katniss had showed Madge the bushes where Gale and her used to pick the strawberries they sold to the mayor.

As a victor, Katniss had to work on her talent. Effie had sent her a list of activities, but she wasn't interested in any of them. The only thing she had once considered as a _talent_ was hunting, but she couldn't do it anymore. She doubted the Capitol would accept hunting as a talent, anyway.

"You know Katniss, if you want I can design some dresses" Cinna said on the phone. "Then you'd just have to do as if you had created them."

Every time she tried to think about it, it reminded her that she should have been the one to die in this arena. Peeta could have done it. He could have played the game much better than her. He would have had no problem to convince the crowd that he was proud to be a victor. He would even have had a real talent, painting. He would have become famous in the Capitol because of his paintings and would have certainly had a better fate than Haymitch or even Finnick, forced to prostitute to protect the one he loved.

Suddenly, Finnick's words came back in her mind. _"Make them love you. Make them want you."_ At that time, she hadn't understood what he meant. But now she did.

"Thanks Cinna, but that won't be enough." she replied, determination in her voice. "I know what I must do. Call you back later, okay ?" She hanged down the phone without waiting for an answer and almost ran to Madge's house.

Yes, Katniss knew exactly what to do to protect her family. It had been so obvious since the beginning. Because of Rue, because of Peeta, because of her father.

"Katniss ?" Madge startled with surprise as she burst into her room.

"Madge, will you play the piano for me ?" Katniss asked. "I must sing."


	11. Chapter 11

Katniss remembered the time when music meant something to her. When she was a child, her father would bring her in the woods and they would sing for hours. The birds always fell silent to listen to her father, and then the mockingjays would repeat his songs and spread it across the woods, mixing it with other birds' songs in a beautiful melody.

Then, her father had died, and music had become useless in Katniss' life. Even painful, because it reminded her too much of him. But Rue had triggered something in Katniss' heart. Music wasn't useless. Music was a way to escape the hard reality. To carry on, despite the hunger, the pain, the misery of their lives.

Katniss hadn't realized she had a beautiful voice until Peeta told her, in the arena. She would always remember his words. "The teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent."

To protect her family, she would have to become famous, as Finnick had said. That way, the audience's interest would stay on her and her relatives, and President Snow couldn't have them killed without provoking the angst of the people in the Capitol. Singing was a little price to pay to insure her loved ones' security.

So Madge and Katniss spent more and more time together, preparing for the Victory Tour. By the time the television crews would come back in District Twelve, she should have a dozen songs ready. Most of these were folk songs from her District. She had learnt them at school or with her father. Usually, these songs were sung along with fiddles and flutes, but Madge did an incredible work to arrange them for the piano. Madge's mother was sick, and some days her headaches were so bad that Madge and Katniss couldn't practice. So Katniss had bought a piano in town. The most beautiful she can find, a grand piano made of mahogany. It was the only thing she liked in her new house.

Effie was absolutely delighted to hear that Katniss had finally found her talent, and to be honest, Katniss began to enjoy singing. At least, it kept her mind busy, and it made Prim happy when the house was filled with music. She also liked to think that Peeta would have enjoyed it too.

So Katniss' life had become much like Haymitch's. Sometimes, she would be too depressed to even move, staying in the couch all day, petting Buttercup. And sometimes, she would gladly sing with Madge or play with Prim. These days, the pain in her missing hand and the fears would disappear.

Every Saturday, her mother would prepare a big dinner, and they would all eat together, Prim, her mother, Haymitch, Madge and her. Sometimes, she would even receive some lamb stew from Caesar. These were the times when she thought that being a victor wasn't so bad, after all.

But the more the Victory Tour approached, the more Katniss' fears came back and the more she was depressed. She knew she would have to relive again and again the horrors of the Games. Worst of all, Peeta's death.

Once, some weeks before the Victory Tour, she needed to be alone, so she went back in the woods. Winter was almost there, and it was getting cold. But it was good, walking between the trees she had learnt to know, hearing the birds singing above her head, smelling the familiar scent of the pines. She wanted to go to the lake and swim, but it wouldn't be reasonable with this cold. So she just wandered in the trees. As she walked, her hunting reflexes came back. The way she walked, silently, her head turning at the faintest sound. Her eyes unwittingly looking for game. Her right hand searching for an arrow whenever she saw something moving.

Suddenly, she heard a noise behind her. She turned around, her hand searching for an arrow that wasn't there, and found herself face to face with a loaded bow.

"Katniss ?" Gale said, lowering his bow.

"Gale ?" her voice was even more surprized than his. It must be Sunday. It was the only day he can hunt now. She started to go toward him, but stopped. Gale looked serious. "What are you doing here ?"

"Why, hunting ! I have a family to feed, remember ? The real question is what are _you_ doing here ?" Gale's tone was hard and cold. What did she think ? That he would be happy to see her ? That he would maybe embrace her ?

"Why didn't you come to see me after I came back ?" was all Katniss could ask.

"Didn't have time." Gale replied evasively. It was a lie of course. The celebration of her return was supposed to be mandatory. "I work in the mine, you know ? But you had plenty of time. You didn't even come to see me or my mother." Katniss' cheeks blushed. With all the troubles in her mind, she had forgotten about Hazelle.

"I… I know. I'm sorry Gale." she said.

"I worked hard while you weren't there, to hunt for both our families ! Every evening I was with Prim and your mother, trying to support them when we thought you'd die. I made them pass before my own family ! I expected nothing in return, but I thought you'd at least come to see me. Weren't we friends ?!" He was mad at her. Katniss could understand why he felt betrayed. But she was too afraid to face him after what happened with Peeta.

"You think I spent the last few months showing off in the Victor's Village ? You think I'm happy to be a victor ? You think I wasn't thinking of home… of you, when I was in the arena ? I relive it every night you know ? Every time I close my eyes, I see them. You have to understand…" Katniss felt the tears coming in her eyes. She was angry, but Gale was right of course. All this time, she had only thought about herself. About what she had been through. She hadn't even thought for one second about what Gale must have felt while she was gone. And now she was losing him. But she had already lost too much. She threw herself in his arms, crying.

"I was afraid you'd hate me after… the Games. That's why I never came." she articulated between two sobs. Gale was taken aback, but he calmed down and patted her hair.

"Shhh… I don't hate you Catnip." She felt his warm breath on her skin, his powerful arms tight around her. When had he become so muscled ? "I'm sorry, I should have known. I should have been here."

"You weren't there at the celebration, and I thought you didn't care about me anymore. But I don't want to lose you too." she said, burying her head in his chest. He smelled like coal, but also woods and apples. Familiar scents.

"You won't lose me Catnip." His hand lifted her chin, forcing her to look his eyes. "You'll never lose me again." The next moment he was kissing her. Katniss was taken by surprise. All she could think of was the warmth of his lips in the winter. She didn't reject him, but she didn't kiss back.

"Gale…" she said sadly when he was done.

"You don't love me, do you ?" he asked with a sigh.

"Gale… I… I don't know." He released her and turned away.

"But you loved _him_ ?" he seemed disappointed. Katniss feared how this would end.

"Yes…" was all she could answer. Gale scowled.

"He's dead, Katniss ! You didn't even… know him !" he said, incredulous. Why was he making this so difficult ? Why was he making her feel miserable ?

"Gale, that's unfair… I'm still grieving !" He seemed to calm down at these words.

"Then I'll wait." he sighted. "I'm... sorry about all this. I don't know what I expected anyway."

"You're not mad at me ?" Katniss asked shyly.

"No, don't worry. You're the one who should be mad. Let's… let's just forget what happened ok ?"

"Ok" she replied, drying her tears. But she knew nothing would be the same between them. He must know that too. What good was it in pretending nothing had happened ?

"Fine, let's see what we can do about your hand." Gale said, his smile back on his face.

They spent the afternoon trying to find something Katniss could do with only one hand. There was no way she could use a bow now, so she tried to set snares. But even that was hard. Tying a simple knot took her several minutes. The only thing she could still do was picking berries and edible plants. Was that all she was good at now ? How could she stand it ? She was a hunter. She needed to feel the adrenaline, the bow string stretching under her fingers. She needed to hear the whistle of the arrow ripping through the air. And instead of that, she was condemned to stay back, to do the easiest tasks, like a little girl, while Gale was doing all the work. Maybe she shouldn't have come back in the woods at all. Maybe that would have been easier for both of them. Maybe the woods were a part of her life that belonged to the past.


	12. Chapter 12

The day before the Victory Tour, Katniss finally found the courage to go in town to see the baker. More than courage, it was determination. She had to meet Peeta's family, to say something before the Victory Tour. The next time she would see them, she would be on the porch of the Justice Building, saying how proud she was, and they would be on a stage in the crowd, with a holographic Peeta behind them. No, she had to meet them before that.

So in the evening, when she knew the baker would be home and not in the bakery, she braced herself and knocked. After a minute, the baker half-opened the door. He was really surprised to see her. He glanced behind him, walked out and closed the door.

"Katniss ? What are you doing here ?" he said in a low voice, his eyes sad. Katniss swallowed. She didn't know what to say. But now that she was here, she had to say something.

"I… I'm here to apologize." she said straight. The baker sighed.

"You shouldn't have come." He turned away to go back in his house.

"Wait ! Let me explain. Please…" she begged. She should have known that would happen.

"There's nothing to explain. Only one of you could live." The baker's tone was hard. Katniss wondered what her mother would have done if it was Peeta who had lived.

"He… was dying. He asked me to do it ! What could I have done ?" she was desperate. "I… I loved him…"

"I know Katniss… I know you had to do this. We don't hold it against you. In fact, we prefer that it was you rather than someone else, who would have killed Peeta heartlessly. But now, you have to let us grieve in peace."

He went back inside without another word. Katniss stayed there in the snow for a while, her eyes staring at the closed door. Then, she finally found her way back to the Victor's Village. She had thought that this conversation would have relieved her, but it had only made her more depressed.

The next morning, her mother awoke her early, because it would be a very busy day. She only had time for a small breakfast before her prep team burst into the house.

"Katniss, your eyebrows !" Venia shrieked.

Venia, Flavius and Octavia spent the morning waxing every inch of her body and painting her nails. They were chitchatting about the Quarter Quell, visibly excited about it, and about their silly lives in the Capitol. Katniss' mother came and showed them how she had done her hair the day of the reaping.

When they were done, she found Cinna downstairs and gladly hugged him. Since the weather was cold, her new dress was made of fur and had long sleeves. They talked about her talent for a while, before Effie arrived, followed by Haymitch. He was sober and the two of them exchanged a cheerful look. Katniss noticed with a mix of amusement and disgust that Haymitch had a trace of lipstick on his neck, almost hidden by the collar of his shirt.

"Katniss !" Effie called, kissing her on both cheeks. "Look how lovely you are ! Where is your friend, we are already late !"

Madge was supposed to be here by noon. Her presence was required because she had to play the piano while Katniss sang a few of their songs for the camera. They waited a few minutes for Madge, and Effie looked at the piano in the living room.

"Oh Katniss, your piano is so beautiful." Effie said, delighted. "That is mahogany !"

"Yes, I knew you'd love it." Katniss replied with a smile.

Finally, Madge arrived with Prim, who had left school early for the event. Cinna had made dresses for both of them. Madge because she would be on screen a lot, and Prim because he knew it would make her happy. The television crews arrived and Katniss welcomed them and talked about her life since the Games, not her real life but a script Effie had written. The others were also interviewed, Prim and her mother, and Haymitch, and even Effie and Cinna.

Then, Katniss introduced Madge to the camera, and she sang. At first, she felt uneasy. She knew everybody in the Capitol and the Districts would be watching. But she looked at Prim and all her resolutions came back. It was to protect Prim that she was doing it. It was to protect Prim that she had to become a puppet of the Capitol.

It struck her suddenly. A puppet of the Capitol, that was what she was becoming. That was the price for her family's safety. Katniss realized that the Games would never end. All her life, she would have to entertain the Capitol, a sword of Damocles hanging over her head. When he would understand that, Gale would certainly hate her again.

She had no time to ponder that, though, because Effie reminded her that they were on schedule. Cinna gave Katniss a huge fur coat and earmuffs. She hated earmuffs, but didn't protest. They all went to the train station. They went through the town, because the other parts of District Twelve weren't glamorous enough for the camera. On the way, a few selected people cheered her and she waved at them, smiling. Before she got in the train, she had a few moments to say good-bye to her relatives. Prim cried, but this time she was happy. Madge handed her the mockingjay pin.

"Don't forget it", she said. "For good luck." They would see each other soon, because Madge was invited in the Capitol on the second to last day of the Victory Tour. That was unusual, but Katniss would have to sing at the party, and Madge was the only one who knew the music since she didn't use any partition.

Gale also came, which was surprising because Katniss thought he wouldn't want to be filmed by the Capitol. But if her cousin hadn't come to say good-bye, that would have been strange. So he acted like he was happy, and hugged her.

"I'm waiting for you, Catnip." He whispered in her ear. She didn't know what to say, so she just tightened her embrace. When he released her, Effie shoved her in the train, and they were gone.

As District Twelve disappeared in the distance, Katniss sighed. She would have to see all the families of the dead tributes, to relive their death once again. She would have to look in the eyes of the parents, the siblings of the ones who had been murdered in the arena, some of them she had personally killed, and pretend to be proud about that. She had no clue how she was going to bear it, but she had to. Like a perfect puppet of the Capitol.


	13. Chapter 13

The train went through orchards and wide fields of wheat going as far as Katniss could see. They were crowded with men, women, even children, working under the blazing sun. District Eleven was so vast. How many people could live here ? More than in the Capitol, Katniss thought. The fields seemed to never end, but Katniss could have stayed at the window for hours, watching the horizon over the crops. If only this train ride could never end. Instead, Effie called her to dress. She would wear a pretty orange frock patterned with autumn leaves. It had no sleeve on the right side, but as usual a long sleeve on the left, to hide her missing hand. Cinna said he had tried to make the sleeve as light as possible, but warned her that she would still be hot, because the sun here was very different than in District Twelve. A normal day here was much hotter than a summer day in Twelve.

The Justice Building was all in marble, but old and damaged. The crowd was already in the square, waiting for her. Even though it was only a small fraction of the people living here, there were more people than in the whole District Twelve. Like every year, the families of the dead tributes were on a platform at the bottom of the square. Both Rue and Tresh appeared on holographic images. Tresh, tall and muscular, exactly as Katniss remembered him. Rue, little Rue, reminding her so badly of Prim, was smiling at her, her dark brown eyes glowing. In front of Tresh were only a very old woman and a girl who was certainly his sister, given her height and muscles. On Rue's side however stood a larger family, consisting of Rue's parents and her five younger siblings. Katniss tried not to look at them. She knew she couldn't bear their eyes full of sorrow.

There were cheers and applauses, and Katniss smiled and waved at the crowed. She thought she would become quite used to it, but it was harder every time. The mayor shook hands with her and gave a speech in her honour. A little girl came up with a huge bouquet of flowers and Katniss took it with her good hand. Then, it was her turn to give a speech. The speech had been written by Effie, and Katniss had repeated it hundreds of times at home, so it was easy. She declaimed it in the microphone, trying her best to keep smiling, but she could hear that her tone was formal, unnatural. Her eyes wandered in the crowed, and soon they met one of Rue's sister's. They were full of tears, but something else appeared in her pupils. Expectations. Of course, she wanted Katniss to say something about Rue. To thank her, to say how important she had been, how proud her family could be. Katniss really wanted to say something. But she looked at Rue's holograph and knew she had to remain silent. She was a perfect puppet of the Capitol now. One error and the consequences could be dramatic. Not only for her and Prim and her mother. But also for Rue's family. For these five little siblings that looked so much like her. Katniss had to protect them. So she just turned her eyes away.

"Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever." she finished her speech, a knot in the stomach.

There was another round of forced applause, and she went back inside the Justice Building, avoiding the disappointed look in Rue's little sister's eyes. Had Katniss done the right thing ? Should she have said something ? Yes she should. She should have told them that she would do everything she could to honour Rue's memory, that Rue wasn't dead in vain. But it was too late now. She hated herself. She wanted to scream, to break something, to slap herself. She ignored Effie who was coming toward her, probably reminding her about the schedule, and ran to the room prepared for her use. There, she grab the nearest thing, she didn't even know what it was, and threw it on the floor. She did it again and again with almost everything that seemed breakable in the room, and then she tore out this stupid sleeve on her left arm. When she was done, she sat down in a corner of the room and cried.

"Katniss, is everything alright ?" Effie's voice asked from outdoor, in her silly Capitol accent.

"Go away !" Katniss shouted, a crack in the voice. She thought that Effie would argue, protesting about her bad manners. But she heard Effie's stilettoes fading in the distance. She started crying again when Haymitch suddenly opened the door. He didn't look surprised at the mess in the room and just sighed.

"You know sweetheart, breaking things won't help." he said. Katniss didn't answer, so he continued. "Well, I guess it's better than drinking, though." He sat next to her. Katniss wanted to tell him to leave her alone, but she hadn't the strength anymore. She didn't really want him to go, anyway. Haymitch's presence was reassuring. He could understand her, he had been through the same things than her.

"I should have said something", she said sobbing. "About Rue. I should have said something to her family."

"And what would you have said ?" he asked with a faint laugh. "That you're sorry ? That Rue was brave and strong and that she didn't deserve to die the way she did ? You think they don't know that ?"

"Yes but…"

"You think that would have eased their pain ?" Haymitch interrupted her. "Don't be ridiculous, girl. She's dead, period. Anything you'd have said couldn't change that." Katniss didn't know what to say. Haymitch was right, of course. But she couldn't help but think about this look full of expectations in Rue's sister's eyes.

"I can't tell you to be proud about what you did." Haymitch said. "But it doesn't matter. You did your job. These people in Eleven, you'll never see them again. Focus on what they think of you in the Capitol. Today, you were satisfying for the camera. It's the only thing that matters." The advice was similar to the one Finnick gave her on the Victor's Banquet. To please the Capitol. The only thing that matters. The only thing that could prevent a punishment for her act with the berries.

"Yea… I guess you're right…" Katniss said, drying her tears.

"Come on. We've got a dinner to attend." Haymitch said.

After this discussion, Katniss found a renewed determination. She was ready to face the other days of the Victory Tour. But she knew this night her missing hand would hurt. She knew her nightmare would be haunted by Rue's family.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note : Hi ! Sorry I took so long to write this chapter, but with school and everything I didn't have much time. And also sorry because this chapter is longer than the others, but I couldn't cut it in two halves. I hope you'll enjoy it !**

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Day after day, District after District, always the same ceremony, always the same speech. The only elements changing were the faces of the dead tributes. Katniss was becoming better at her role. Her smile was more confident, her tone more natural. She learnt not to look at the tributes' families. These crowds, these people, they didn't matter, they were nothing to her, that's what she was trying to think. Only the cameras mattered.

She was going through the days with such ease, as if she had done this all her life. A smile, a wave at the camera, a speech, and a dinner. It was so easy not to think. Choreographed moves, arranged words. Katniss didn't exist anymore, she was a puppet manipulated by strings. Her whole being was animated by a single obsession, giving the Capitol what they wanted.

But it was not that easy to let go. Day after day, District after District, it was harder. The train rides had become a torture. So much loneliness, so much spare time when she was alone with her thoughts, when she was trapped inside her own head. How she missed Peeta in moments like these. How she missed the warmth of his arms, his heartbeat under her ear, his breath in her hair. How she wished he was sleeping next to her, protecting her from the nightmares.

Every day was bringing her closer to the Capitol, and every day Katniss was becoming sullener, lonelier. She couldn't stay in her room for long, because the silence was unbearable. She couldn't stay in the living room either, because she was fed up with Effie being excited about the Tour. Haymitch was of no help. Apparently, the Victory Tour had triggered some bad memories in his mind, and most of the time he was in his room, probably drinking. Sometimes Effie would disappear, and Katniss suspected her to go in Haymitch's room. She couldn't help but being mad at them, even though it was no business of hers. The idea of Haymitch and Effie making out felt wrong.

When she needed comfort, she would go in the car where her piano was transported. When she couldn't sleep, she spent hours watching it, touching it, playing the few notes Madge had taught her. It was her only reminder that she was not alone. She wouldn't be alone in the Capitol. Madge would be there to help her bear the unbearable. It was the only hope she clung to. She wasn't alone. People were waiting for her at home. Prim would be delighted to hear everything about the dresses she had worn, the places she had seen. Her mother would be concerned about the pain in her missing hand, which hadn't stop increasing since the beginning of the Tour. Gale would want to know about the living conditions and the oppression of the Capitol in the other Districts.

Gale… He had said he would be waiting for her. But waiting for what ? Katniss still didn't know if she had liked his kiss or not. In times like these, she was tempted to abandon herself in his arms, to give everything to him. But that would be selfish because it wasn't Gale she wanted. She was only starving for human closeness. She couldn't use him like that. She felt guilty to even think of it.

Finally, the train reached the Capitol, and she had to ride through the city on a chariot. She was used to it now. Katniss disappeared and she was the puppet again. Smiling, waving, throwing kisses at the crowd, looking dazzling in the fire red gown Cinna had designed. People were cheering, shouting her name, throwing flowers at her. Not because they were forced, but because they really loved her. It was harder than in the Districts, though. The chariot felt too large, without Peeta at her side. She could almost see him next to her, his outfit on fire. Now he would never ride this chariot again. He would never be next to her again.

When she finally went back in her old floor in the Training Center, Madge was already there, glancing awkwardly at the Avoxes. She had put on her most beautiful dress, but she still look out of place in this Capitol building. When she saw Katniss, her face lightened and she hurried to hug her.

"Katniss, I'm so happy to see you !" she said enthusiastic. "I watched you through the window, you were fantastic !"

"Yea, I guess I'm becoming quite good at it." Katniss replied with a laugh. Of course, Madge didn't know about the puppet thing. And she must continue to ignore it. Katniss didn't want to put her in danger. It was already too risky to have brought her to the Capitol. But she was the mayor's daughter, she must be safe.

They had some time alone to repeat their songs, and Katniss was glad to talk to her. At least it prevented her from thinking too much about Peeta and all those kids that died in these sick games. Then Katniss had to go through the prep team's hands for the interview. The prep team was talking ecstatically about the party at President Snow's mansion. It was the first time they were invited to such an important event. Flavius had even dyed his eyebrows purple for the occasion.

At the interview, Caesar welcomed her friendly and Katniss did her best to be the puppet she had been the last few days. She smiled and laughed at Caesar's jokes and tried to act as a happy victor. It became hard when she had to watch a recap of the Games. She thought she would be prepared this time, but no. Seeing all those faces again was a torture. She couldn't avoid looking at them, unlike in the Districts. She had to watch and hide her pain, her sadness. This time, she didn't cry, though. Only a teardrop at Rue and Peeta's deaths. The puppet idea was making it easier to hide her feelings. Not that she was less sad than the first time, but it was easier to hide it now. Finally, Caesar asked her about her talent.

"Now, let's talk about your talent, Katniss. I'm so glad you listened to me, I knew you'd make a great singer." he said, his perfect white teeth shining, and the audience shouted in approval. "But what made you chose singing ?"

"Well, I think that music has always been part of my life, somehow." she replied, blushing.

"I heard that your father was a good singer, is that true ?" Caesar helped her.

"Yes, he had such a beautiful voice." Katniss answered, taking the opportunity to play the game. "I miss him a lot, you know. When I was a child, we used to sing together, and that made me happy."

"And that's when Peeta fell in love with you, when you were kids." he said with interest. "He said the birds felt silent to listen to you. After we heard you sing at the interview in District Twelve, some months ago, I can only believe him."

"Ahah, no… I think he had just imagined this part." she answered with a laugh. "But yea, it's for him that I sing. In memory of him, and my father. And Rue too."

"Rue too ?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes of course, Rue too. You know, when my father died, I stopped singing. Music had become painful, because it reminded me of him. But then, when Rue asked me to sing for her, she triggered something. I remembered how music was important to me. So it's also for her that I sing. It's for all the people I love." Maybe she was exaggerating a bit, but that was what the audience expected. Talking and confessing to Caesar like old friends. Just by watching the interview, nobody could tell she was just playing a game. Maybe she was becoming good at it. Peeta would be proud of her. She was becoming more and more at ease in her puppet role. But a part of her mind was disgusted about herself, she felt weak, she felt like she was becoming a minion of the Capitol.

"I understand. Then, we can all thank Rue !" he laughed. "Before you go, I have one more question. Could you sing something for us ?" The audience applauded his suggestion.

"No !" Katniss laughed. "I'd like to, but you'll have to wait for the party tonight."

"Oh, come on !" Caesar encouraged her. He turned toward the audience. "Do you want her to sing ?!" The crowd shouted in approval.

"Okay, okay, if you insist… But just a few notes, right ?" Then she began singing the chorus of Rue's lullaby, a cappella.

"_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you_."

The audience acclaimed and chanted her name, and she knew it was a good thing. These people loved her, and she would have to fuel this love if she wanted her family to be safe. So just when she finished singing, she threw a kiss at the audience, making the acclamations intensify.

"Ahah, that was great !" Caesar said, thrilled. "That's what I call a _talent_ ! Well Katniss, thanks for being with us tonight. It has been a real pleasure, but it's already time for good byes. Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand up for Katniss Everdeen !"

Caesar kissed Katniss on the cheek, she waved one last time at the audience and left the stage, while Caesar talked about the TV program of the evening. She breathed a sigh of relief while Effie came toward her. She had navigated through this more easily than she had thought. Playing the game was easier now that she could transform into a puppet. No emotions, just an empty shell with a smile. The pain was still there, of course, but asleep. It would awake when she would be alone, but at least she hadn't burst into tears in public again. She would have plenty of time for that later.

Effie, Haymitch and Katniss all went to the President's mansion in a limousine. Effie had put on her most exuberant outfit, colorful feathers from head to toe, she looked like a giant and scary bird. Haymitch looked visibly annoyed by her aspect, but still offered her his arm to enter the mansion. The mansion was huge and majestic, with fountains and topiaries and hedges. For the party, it was illuminated with spectacular light effects. It was already crowded with the Capitol smart set, and Katniss laughed interiorly at their ridiculous fashion standards.

As soon as she arrived, everybody wanted to talk to her, to take pictures with her, to have an autograph. Katniss saw her mockingjay everywhere. Apparently, it was a new trend in the Capitol. People wore it on fashion accessories, pins, and even as a tattoo. Everyone wanted to wear the winner's token.

Effie had to intervene to disperse the crowd, saying that Katniss would sign as many autograph as they wanted after she had sung, and led her to the stage that had been built in the ballroom. She had to wait a moment while Effie announced her in the microphone.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" she said, elated. "Now is the moment you were all waiting for. I am proud to present to you our lovely victor, Katniss Everdeen !"

That was it. The moment she had feared the most. The audience was applauding and shouting, but all was blurry in Katniss' head and her missing hand was aching. She climbed the stairs to the stage, more stressed with every step. Cinna had the good idea not to make her wear high heels. It was hard enough to walk without them. Madge was already there, behind the mahogany piano. She was stunning in a beautiful aquamarine dress. It must be Cinna's work, because even if Madge was the mayor's daughter, she would have never been able to afford it. Of course, Madge had to go through the prep team's hands too. That made Katniss smiled. She was not alone. She could do it. She had done it thousands of time at home. She had done it on screen several times. She even had done it half an hour ago, and the crowd was larger than here. It was different, though. At the interview, she couldn't see the audience with all the lights pointed at her. Here, she could see every face turned toward her. Plus, she had the feeling that this first song will be decisive. President Snow watched her from a balcony, expressionless. What was he thinking ? Obviously, he was not here for the show. He was here to judge her. Yes, her life and the life of everyone she loved would depend on her capacity to entertain the Capitol tonight. Tonight was the night.

Katniss spotted Cinna's face in the crowd. That reassured her a little, but her right hand was sweaty when she took the microphone. Why was her throat so dry ? She coughed a little. She glanced at Madge, who looked uneasy, and she nodded. Katniss sighed and braced herself.

"Good evening everybody. I'm going to sing an old song from my District. It's called _The Valley Song_." she finally said. She looked at Madge who began to play, closed her eyes and sang.

The very song that made Peeta fell in love with her. As soon as she began singing, all her fears disappeared. All the pressure on her shoulders released, and the pain in her hand vanished. She was not surrounded by hundreds of people anymore. She was not even in the Capitol anymore. She was in the cave with Peeta. The cave where she had spent a few moments of happiness with him, before he was torn away from her. The cave where she had fell in love with him, despite herself. She was not sad, though. Actually, it was the first time since the beginning of the Victory Tour that she felt happy. The first time since the end of the Games. She couldn't explain why. Maybe because she had found a way to make Peeta alive again, in her mind.

When she opened her eyes, coming back to reality, everybody was applauding and asking for more. Katniss didn't have to feign the smile that came on her lips. She took a look at Madge, and she was smiling too. It probably didn't have the same meaning for her than for Katniss, but playing the piano for the Capitol must have been a stressful experience for her too. But Katniss knew she was going to do great. When Madge seated at a piano, her hands would fly over the keyboard, her fingers dance on it. She could take a succession of notes and turn it into a magical spell.

The audience was delighted. And so was Katniss. She was doing it, doing what Finnick had said. She was becoming famous. How could President Snow do any harm to her family now ? She glanced at him, on his balcony. In response to her interrogative eyes, he nodded slightly. Katniss knew instantly what it meant. It was an unspoken pact between them. As long as she entertained the Capitol, nothing would happen to her family. And as long as nothing happened to her family, she would continue to play the Game.


End file.
